becoming an adult is weird
wow i can drive a car and set my own schedule
wow i can go online and buy 50 dragon dildos
did i stutter
For as much as they tell you about Stop Drop and Roll as a kid, I really expected to be on fire more times in my life.
i called my grandpa to wish him a happy 69th birthday and he said, “I skipped straight to 70. I don’t do 69 anymore, I’m too old to bend that way” and started laughing hysterically